FEZ - That's how I like my retro

Take any tower rotation game, take lets say Zelda, lets take some white (sperm-styled) blob, some cuteness and TONS OF VERY GOOD PIXEL ART.

And you got this gem.

Yes. Even if this whole Mr.Fish thing started the indie market going crazy and leading to the Gate Area, this game is it.

It is the wet dream of my retro dreams, the game where you dream that you died and went to Hyrule as a braindead sperm blob with a had. You know.

I will post some more impressions soon. If you did not play this game and you like perfectly made pixel jump and runs with more than one new twist, get it.

Imagine the most beautifull game of 2014, with a really good story. And salute to Ethan

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter from Astronouts Games is for the most astonishing peace of art I played this close-to-an-end year.

I don't want to spoil any even so little part of the story, perhaps only that you play a Detective with a power for special "cases" who tries to rescue a boy in danger. Nuff said.







It is an exploration game, so no pew pew and item farming, just walking, thinking, feeling and ... exploring. It is a story lived and driven by your curiosity.

Amnesia-The dark Descent is a bit similar, but yet totally different.
Vanishing is no horror genre game. And Amnesia looks like middle ages compared to this. Only the way the story is transported is a bit similar.




But wait, I could actually talk for hours about the graphics.

So, then let me talk about the music first, it is very good, from Mikolai Stroinski.


Perfectly adapting to the scenarios, enhancing the *dada* visual feast.

Ever heard of Photogrammetry for f*ck sake ????

You should. It is the future in my opinion, especially with the retarded eye classes, you know these "whos-farting-in-my-face-now" things on your head, this occultus riftz thing. You know what I mean.
(Yes, I am not a fan of those, at least not yet, but that's another topic)

Well, Photogrammetry, read it for yourself, is basically taking a lot of images and then some math freaks and optic genies let an algorithm do most of the rest and TADA: you have a 3D object looking so close to reality that every texture- and model can go where the pepper grows. (German proverb)


Conclusion : GET THIS GAME if you understood what I tried to convey and if youre into story telling with the new format that will eventually replace movies.

First check out the system requirements, though. I am not sure what you need, it runs fine on my well equipped machine.

The Baconing - What the heck does that mean anyway ???

It was a cold morning in 2011 and some heavy talented comic artist and some goofy underrated devs (all fictional) met in a McDonalds after having drunk the whole night in a third rate bar in a east-european ... no seriously, what Hothead Games did there is actually quite nice.





Pardon me, what did that hit do ?

I only played it a few minutes because you have a problem what comes to my attention quite often in the last few games. You do not really see what you hit, or how do I describe it, you do not really feel or get the feeling for the hit you do on your opponent.

You start as a super hero, I did not get anything of the story, but I am having the feeling I am not supposed to, anyways.




So whats good ?

Besides of that major fault it is very nice, I dont get the 63 rating on metacrictic yet. It's comic graphic is epic, its interface marvelous, the "fuk-u-diabolo" aesthetic instant gratifying, its goofy voice over wants to play it just to hear more of it.

And when you start talking seriously to a cow then you know, this game is at least not the usual crap.

I will fire this game up again ! And try to rip the voice !

Happy Chrismas Y'all ! And lets look at "One Finger Death Punch"

I think I will go on with a quick test, though, before I light...oh wait we don't have candles.

One Finger Death Punch. Read somewhere it's fun, saw it in a sale, bought it in a rush.

And it is well done. I am a big fan of abstract games, and this is the abstract version of a simple player kung fu game, with a twist.

You do not move in this game, you just wait for the enemies to approach from either side and then click accordingly left or right mouse button. Funny is: You are one of these line-only characters from a few years ago ! Hehe.

So well made, OMG

But it is soooo well made. The backgrounds are amazing and OMG the voice actor and his japanese-english accent is delivering the atmosphere so well. The whole design is so retro-game-console but yet so lightweight abstract, it is really a joy !

I am not the type of guy who enjoys this kind of reaction tests, so that is a bit hmm. But I would like to progress and play it just for the curiosity what kind of ideas these devs had !

Conclusion

For everyone who needs a reaction test game in the morning e.g. to get up, this is PERFECT for that.

Direct Marketing on Twitter - Well is that ? I like a tweet of the dev of KEL-Reaper of Entropy

I like the surrealist humor, a bit like Terry Prachett XD

I like this tweet about ehm...that when we gamer look at a nice forest we ask which engine, even if it is a real picture. You know. The old joke. But the dev (I think a she) did it in a funny variation, and I like variations, so I looked her up, and she did the game "KEL-Reaper of Entrpy"

Here I got stuck. Hmm.

"Ever wonderd when yoou would wake up as the skeleton not the freaking hero ?" - Yes, indeed. We all did. So this short description got me, and even I know nothing about it, I thought, hey three euros, thats worth the surprise factor !

Besides from the quick look I took it looked good.

It is around 300 mb, and yikes, it is Unreal DK. I dont like their stupid EULA. Ok. Let us do that.


The game looks very nice, the animations are good. For some reason my skeletton is a chrismas skeleeton, maybe thats cause it is chrismas. Not sure.

The humor of the game is my taste. Yeah.  But, I interact with a flower patch and got stucked, could not leave the menu. Not sure what to do, but I will certainly give this one another try !

Numboring #4 : Men of War - Vietnam

Dont blame me - blame Valve. It was cheap like two bugs, so hey. Why not.

But it is bad. It is an uninspired jungle mod of the nice MoW default.

But it is somewhat linear, and jungley and despite I am really not done yet with the Vietnam setting, it plays more like a story driven squad game than a RTS game.

I could except all this, but then I walked into a dense area of grass and all my men were killed without any hint why or from where or how OR WHY.

That's enough, I will come back to this game, but not *now*.

And now - Number #3 - The Larch...no actually its about Superfrog HD

Yeah, I missed the "classic" Superfrog from 1993, and I must say this remake looks more like a rather clumsy work of a vector artist fresh from art school and some script kidie who played to much Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario.

Nah, its actually not that bad. Well, yeah it is. But it is fun. Up to the point in the first level where it repeats itself on and on and you think you have taken the wrong amount of a cheap drug.

The actual music is good, but after well when the repeating kicks in you think you go crazy.

The second level was exact the same only a different graphic set. Normally, this is good for a J'n'R I suppose, here it was not enough to make a new level feeling.


I like frogs though. Since James Pond. But dear, Team17, you probably let your interns work on Frogs, as always. (SCNR)

Cool thing : All the music is in ogg as well as all the sounds effects ! Thats huge ! (And it is done with SDL, so thats kinda cute ! ;-))

Nerf #2 : Tiny and Big: Grandpa's Leftovers

Ok. I launched up this beauty from 2012, in the hope it is a beauty.

I was intrigued by the hand drawn comic menu and the abstract trash look of the car and the figures.

But then there is that intro game, where you have to play Sokoban more than five times with a green filter that make it look like a sewer.

Maybe the game is good. If you are a 13 year old kid who likes Sokoban. I'm out, though.

I have to get some of these games tested, soooooo #1 : Always sometimes Monsters

Always sometimes Monsters

Yeah well. Some pixel-di-pixel-da smallscreen lovely urban scene appears, you are obviously a serial killer and some white robbed guy tells you that you're not finished with his killing requests.

Of course, you walk away when some hooded guy appears, draws a pistol and wants you to listen to his story. I accidentally shot the guy. I think that wasn't the way it was supposed to be, cause I landed back in the main menu.

Very strange game ! XD

So I played it a bit more. The interessting intro resolves itself into a party of early 20ies creative people. You choose a game person and a lover, and then it jumps a year and you have no money.

What is annoying are the strange philosophical sentences in between and the whole yuppie thing.

I really like the graphics and the music, but the game itself lost me. I am still curios, I prolly will skip through a letsplay of this game.

Too old for Jump'n'Runs...No...Yes...(Jump)...Yes...No...140

I am not sure I am old enough ... eh too old for J'n'R's.

Maybe I never was patient enough, or hated to be told when where to jump, or something.

There were J'n'R's though who drove me to play them, mostly due to the perfect balance of story, design and difficultie.

Now I found 140. Besides of being the number of Twitter, bad who thinks this was intended, it is the essence of all jump'n'runs. Seriously, this game is worth a look.

Let me collect my thoughts and I will post them here.

Come out of the Shadow, Warrior. Or perhaps, hey, you know what, stay there.

This is the only cinematic shot I was able to make so far

Since it has some kind of old school history, I was really curious of the new version of the 2013
Shadow Warrior.








And it's trailer was really looking promising. When it was like 4 bugs on Steam or somewhere, I thought, well, why not, some Sword'n'Slash with an old school flair, lets rooooll !

Kids, dont do this at home if you are not a rabbit

But after playing it a bit, it was like, hmm. The story reminds me of Darkness II, the daemon style as well. But ok, the voice acting is done tight, good music.

There is actually wild life. Well, rabbits. And everytime you dont look, or look, it doesnt matter, they hump each other. Is this a hidden critique on nerds having not enough sex ?




But the level design, omg, the level design. Small, cramped levels, like made out of 10 single elements, and looking like things from let us say, 2009, not 2013.

Well, yes thank you for the Sex Ed !

The combat is fast, very repetitive, and despite the relatively original weapons and ideas, the special moves are not that good and a bit "unclean". Did I hit them with that ? Did I hit anything with that blow ? Should I use my guns ?

I found this hidden area where the original comes through

So. I will play it cause it's humor. And due to the lack of something similar with more style.

But this is a wasted opportunity to make a classic. Sad.

WTF - Sega, were you high ? SEGA Bass Fishing

When Sega was thinking : "Hey let us make a fishing game with the aesthetics of a arcade fighting game" they were prolly totally high on some freaking SEGA drugs.





This game, regardless of its age, is close to being cool again, wouldn't it be unplayable and depressingly boring and ugly.

BUT it has everything a good SEGA fighting game has, the voice, the style, the music, the unplayable keyboard configuration that every good console port first has before you manage to change the key in the options menu.

But in some museum for learning game designers or get high and laugh yourself to death with some friends or -go fishing in real life -

I don't know. I wish the guys who are responsible for this game would do a session on Reedit.

Darkout - The tenth million f*cking 2d block crafting game BUT

Yes. But what ?

It is different. Not in its game mechanism. But it has a refreshing 3D non retro game engine,
and it is more like a well made cartoon sci-fi fantasy setting.

It is well made, everything looks nice, even more organic.





The form of the blocks is not closed, the first wood wall looks actually like a real wood wall, with open space in it.

The User-Interface is well made, but I will never understand why they are using small fonts when they *know* most users will have a high resolution.

There is no story, just hey you're stranded on this planet, theres your stuff, get going and good luck, you f*ck.

Thanks to the unusual graphic concept I will stick to it for a bit and explore it.

Crazy Plant Shop - Crazy Plant...Well, why not ?

It opens with some nice easy jazzy eastern europe music but terrible synths.

Delightful vector grafx. Let me have a look.

OK. You always wanted to know everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, about breading....yes...breading...PLANTS ?

Then this game might come in ...fruitfull...Hahaha.

No seriously. I was bored after 20 minutes, but if I ever want to know about asexual plant reproduction in a fictional breading machine handed over to me by Mendel himself, I will certainly
fire up this jewel of an educational software.

Stacking - Oh OK, lets stack some !

Öh. No clue what this game is, but the Double Fine Sale in Steam was showing I had this already in my library, so hey.

It is from 2012. Some story about rescuing someone from some industrialist. Sounds ... well ... appealing. Let me have a closer look.



[ AFTER THE FIRST 25 MIN RUN ]

Ok. This game is seriously crazy. You walk through an scenario in the early industrial revolution, and your family is more or less enslaved as child workers. You, the smallest...DOLL...yes, DOLL, come to the rescue.

Besides the fact that the dolls are talking with their stomachs, you go behind other dolls that are bigger and then GO INTO THEM.

Yes. Then you can use their special abilities like poisonous gas or shouting.

The music is awesome, the atmosphere well design, the ideas funny. But for some reason I wasn't motivated to stack dolls.

But I will keep this in my collection for further examination one of these days !

Six days - Oh my ... Time for Edge of Space

I did not post anything for another six days. Shame on me.

But RL und BF4, to which I fall pray again, are keeping me from exploring the depth of my Steam Library. I put a hold on any new games, cause I really lost the overview on all those in my library.

But Edge of Space keeps updating all the time, so I took a look, and to my surprise, it seems to be a Terraria connected sandbox pixel game. Well, I will have a short look.

Well. This reminds me totally of Signs of Life, only that it is not close to being so pretty and sophisticated as SoL.  It is a Space Setting, the usual, oh my , I was close to saying crap, thinking the genre starts to bore me, but nevertheless, it is not so pretty, the animations are strange.

The dimensions are not Terraria like, rather real size proportions. There are a lot of small details I could now list that would make my distaste perhaps more understandable. I will have a look into it in the future, but right now, that is not really capturing my interest.

Starbound on the other hand, as well as Signs of Life, still tempts me from time to time.

Surprise Test : Black Mirror

Besides being a interesting TV Series, which has absolutely nothing to do with this game, I know nothing (John Snow) about this game. It was downloaded in my Steam Library, but so are so many other games.

So I clicked on it. Let me have a look.

Shroud of the Avatar - Early Access on Steam

Finally. Mr. Garriot and his team brought the virtual predecessor of Ultima to Steam Early Access.

I played it for two hours so far, and was, well, it is promising. And since I am a HUGE...HUUUUUGE Ultima fan since I was 15, loooooong ago, longer than you might think (yes), I will make it to a continous series on this ... blog.

It is all, and you get three notices of that before you actually are entering the game, it is all PRE-ALPHA, so keep that in mind, dear writer (me), before you apply your sharp observation skills to crush your precious diamond in the rough.

Thank you.

Quicky - Lifeless Planet

For some reason I wanted to quick-test this game. It seem to have athmosphere on screenshots and on RPS.

But first impression is very strange. You walk around a small level that looks like a three-hour unity tryout and except that you nearly die of having no air, nothing is there.

[GOING BACK TO MEN OF WAR - ASSAULT SQUAD 2]

Another Look - Men of War - Assault Squad 2

Yeah, I confess, I am a sucker for World War 2 Real Time Strategy.

Well. If they are well made, that is. And the first Men of War game was like : "Yes, like that please, but a bit less less-early access style (it wasn't)."

I caught fire with Men of War - Assault Squad and played it for quite a few hours in a row cause it had all the elements needed for a real good WW2 RTS and more. All the weapons, once you got the hang of it very good interface, nice graphics, team and single character control and a lot more.

I got bored after a few hours though, cause I knew how the AI worked and I was able to quickly outmaneuver and defeat them, but then again I only played on normal.

So I was hopping for a worthy predecessor when I bought the second part in a steam sale.

Let me have a look.

Hitman: Blood Money - Good old old CoD memories

After having finished Hitman:Absolution, and despite exactly three attacks of boredom due to the always similar mission types, I enjoyed the perfect cinematic experience and the graphics, very much.

So I have the predecessor, Hitman: Blood Money, too. The first impression of this game from 8 years ago invokes terrible memories to the 2001 version, but hey, it can not be as perfect as in Hitman:Absolution.

Let me have a look.

Ancient : The Egyptian Prophecy: The Fate of Ramses

I was actually looking forward, despite the bad reviews, to have a look at this game, cause I really like the setting and funny DICE published a 2 GB PRE-ADDON patch (wtf), so I could not play the new extention.

First : To its defend, it is from 2004. 

But I played The Egyptian Prophecy: The Fate of Ramses for exactly 3 minutes and 12 seconds.

Then I deleted it from my computer.

Why ? Except the intro voice terrible voice acting, terrible animations and loveless renderings, terrible step by step 3D panorama pictures, but to make it perfect : You can not change the resolution. (again 2004, but nevertheless)

I knew all this more or less. I wanted to be surprised due to the setting. Well. I am not. NEXT !

Two people, one pixel epos that actually works - Hero Siege

Well, dear Elias Viglione and Jussi Kukkonen, well, well *coughs* well done.

In Hero Siege you run around and fight as several classes in a (i quote some game mag here) "dark hyrule" in a restricted several screens including scenario and fight against spiders, dead skeletons and the usual fantasy crap.

Hitman - Absolution ... Another fps bites the dust

Well. I tried the first two in this series, and the first one really sucked, the second was not bad at all, but so ancient I could not play it for long.

So now I skip some in the between and jump right to the final (?) one, Hitman Absolution.

With proud 15 GB of data I am really curious what will present myself. I am a bit fed up with non-open world shooters, and since The Darkness II I have high exceptions in regard to story design in linear shooters.

Was it worth it ? Read after the break. [WIP]

Sunday Jazz - I need drugs for that game

Jazzpunk from Necrophone Games. Hint : Get some fresh drugs from your favourite dealer and deep dive into a game that has perfected the trash anti-style concept.

You play somehow an agent that steals from e.g. Russians in a cold war setting. The graphics are amazingly simple yet stylish, it's like a bubble gum has melted with a crippled dragon and eat New York, then reduced the whole thing from 3 billion terabyte to 400 mb.





I only played the first mission, cause well I am not using any drugs, but the next time I am drunk I will certainly play this game again, hoping it gets darker while progressing !

King Arthur's Gold - Where a shark fights a bull on the surface

Sometimes you see a game, and you know at once you want that.

Well, in this case I fell into the "That looks like Terraria, but cooler." trap.

I bought "King Arthur's Gold" from Transhuman Design on Steam and well, it is kinda cool !

You play as either a Knight (fighter), Archer or Builder, but you can switch the roles very often in a map.


[ AFTER SEVERAL HOURS OF MULTIPLAYER ]

Yes. This game is funny. If you play 5 vs 5 or more it is really good. The concept of the three classes works well, the dynamics in a good team are amazing to watch and be part of.

If you like Terraria but always wanted to do fights, this is the game.

Sometimes it is a bit hard to aim when there are 3 or more ppl at one place, but that is training.
But the building under pressure, the ideas of the people, the transmitted feelings, it is really worth it's price ! 

Quick Click - Mechanic Escape

A well done, but totally boring Jump'n'Run I may present to you : "Mechanic Escape" from Slak Games.

Why boring ? You play a computer, and you run around in a 2D Jump'n'Run with the classical elements. Why don't they learn : BRING ONE ELEMENT THAT SURPRISES PEOPLE at the beginning.

It is VERY good designed. Really. But I played the first 8 levels, and I wasn't thrilled at any time.

But very good graphics. The music is like a sleeping pill, though. And the face of the protagonist is like a panicking fast food salesman. I don't know.

Since the design is really good, I will keep an eye on the Slakers, but everyone who isn't a big Jump'n'Run addict isn't going to get an erection from this game.

Uhhhh Uhhhhhhh UHHHHH UHHHH -A Reckless Disregard for Game Names

I am afraid the pool of good names for computer games is getting smaller every time an indie company opens up, so yeah, mostly every ten seconds.

But what you know, theres always someone who is using this to his advantage : "AaAaAA!!! - A Reckless Disregard for Gravity" from Dejobaan Games, LLC.

I stumpled on it cause it is one of the first games I know of made with the new not yet available to the public Unity3D Version 5 !

The welcome screen and the music and the slogan "We make computer games since several hundred years" is promising, so let me have a look.

[ AFTER FIRST RUN ]

I like the design. The game itself. Well it has more the appeal of a graphic demo form a programmer student in 2005 to me.

You fall down somewhere and have to keep close to objects. I didnt play much longer because hmm I dont know it is kinda...stupid ? Like really stupid ?

What I am trying to say is, I like stupid, but I need something to justify the stupidiy. A story. One NEW idea. One thing that keeps me going. Just to fall down and hug and kiss some meshes, I do not know dear Dejobaan Games.

The design is well done, some good ideas, awesome music.

But thats about it. NEEEEXT !

Yeah, backbite time ! Humble Indie 13 ! First in Line : Tower of Guns !

One of many

First I installed Tower of Guns from Terrible Posture Games. I choosed a directory on a non system partion, but yes, how could it be different, the incredible unstylish dialog from the Unreal Development Kit installed a ton load of crap into my system partion. I do not like that.

Well, why didnt you used Steam to install it ? Good question, stfu. I am always choosing a DRM free version of a game over Steam, ALWAYS, freaking steam slave sh*t.

But seriously dear Terrible Gesture Games, I do not want a UDK screen war when I install your game, thats just TMI !!!

Ok. To the game.

I make it quick. It is a hand-drawn 3D Shooter. But to my taste, it is not working. It looks unclean, unfinished and the enemies are boring. There is no spark for me, for other maybe !  I loved the cute robots at the start, but it took a while until I noticed they were friendly, I allready killed all but one.

Btw: I like the music of the game !

Incredible Popart Machine Reloaded - Contraption Maker

Stupid name. But worthy to be called a game in the line of "The Incredible Machine". State-of-the-Art art, colorful interface up-to-date. Nice Music. And of course - the classical riddles reloaded.

It still has some bugs and not so well designed things, like the freaking rotate icon outside the screen or the scissor snapping when nearby a not light candle that's three pixel above ground when activating the level. Things like that.

The multiplayer seems not to work at all OR there is just no one online, but I have not the slightest idea what this game could offer in a multiplayer setting. That's why I'd like to try it.

Far Cry 3 - His NAME is Buck and he likes to

Yeah I know this is very old stuff, but it is the funniest glich of bored game devs in a AAA title I saw since a long time.

Damn, these guys were BORED. 





Besides this is my first youtube video recorded with ShadowPlay. XD

Warlock - Masters of the Arcane

First of all, shame on you Paradox Interactive, this game is a 100% Civilization V clone. Hehe. Just with a phantasy setting.

The design, the menus, the landscape, THE SAME. I just started to play it, and it looks very nice, plus it was free in the Humble Store Summer Sale.


I like Paradox Interactive, not only cause the kewl name, but they mostly did quality stuff. So let me test this a bit and come back to you.

British accent, corrupt suburbia, lovley genre mix...what else do you want ?

I think I have fallen in love with "On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness" from *ehm* I am not sure but I think its "Zeboyd Games".

It is like Monkey Island with a much darker humor and Final Fantasy Turn- Based RPG Elements. I totally like it *at once*

I will play it tomorrow when I come home from somewhere and then report to you, my dearest robot friends.




[ AFTER FIRST LONGER RUN ]

Yeah then its humor changes into stupid stereotypes and looses its grip into the unstructured absurd.

That would be okay, but what really is strange suddenly the combat is so freakingly hardcore difficult and the strange timing system of the combat system is not helping.

So hmm. It was a hope. It is not what I hoped for. NEEEEXT !

Shank, Shank, Shank it up, Baby

I loved Mark of the Ninja. So I just realized that I bought Shank from Klei Entertainment for low. Let me have a look. And thanks to ShadowPlay of Nvidia I can even make a video now. Lol.

It is brutal. A loot of blood. Some kind of cuba feeling. I love the drawing style. It is like a prototype for things to come like Mark of the Ninja.

Will play it more some time and then report in detail. 

Once Upon a Time, an boxed Idea met a 2D Physics Engine Animal

Yes. Well done, Victory Square Games, well done. It was a gray morning and your lead designer was sitting on the toilet and thought : "A box, a box, a kingdom for a box".

Then the lead artist was on his way to work when he thought : "A animal, a boxed kingdom for an geometric animal".

And then at the table both had the amazing idea of animals, drawn as boxes and a simple 2D physics engine. Well. I am not sure that this 18mb baby has any qualities that could satisfy anyone older than 16 OR not stoned.

The music loop sucks after 4 minutes and the riddles have such a simple raising curve that you actually wish there would be a explicit tutorial.

Well. It's average quality, and if you have a child and this would be a mobile game, then this would just be perfect. But nothing for me and the music actually makes me aggressive.

Eight years ago : Titan Quest

Actually, for this game I wish Blogger had a gallery function

Titan Quest and its expansion "Immortal Throne" is an eye catcher. That, besides of all, is sure.
Every monster is perfect, every scenario element is perfect. Actually, this was what kept me going for quite some time. The sounds are awesome, the voice elements are ... guess what....perfect.
The weapon effects were stunning. The idea of making a diabolo version of the Greek myth was and still is really impressive.



Well. What is not so perfect was the linearity.  The quests were stupid, to say the least.
Then the weapon itself, I played on normal level and it was too easy. There was no real felt effect of choosing your weapon carefully. It didn't matter. The bosses were no real challenge, had no personality.

Well. If they had manage to give the story and the world a more immerse touch, this game would have been legendary imho. I have to check out the mods sometimes.

But really a shame. But I never saw a game of this genre and style where the visual freshness is still so ridiculous "now". Hey, Nordic Games, you bought it, do a sequel that's worth the initial effort !

Yes. Why do I even bother ? Making History: The Calm & the Storm

In my new segment, "Yes, why do I even bother", I test games which were cheap on Steam and which look like you would have no reason to test them *at all* at first glance. Only condition I set was that they have to have mostly positive reviews from Steam Users. That's about it.

I even made this amazing logo to the left for it, so you can always see, well, what the ****, why did he even bother ?


My first game in the new series is "Making History: The Calm & the Storm" from Muzzy Lane and I bought it for 0.79 €. It looks like some kind of war strategy map game.

[ FIRST RUN - 10 minutes ]

Well. The game itself seems done with care, but perhaps not with the number of people in the team you need to do this kind of game. The design is mediocre, playable, but mediocre. The music is soft generic war synth music. It has all elements of a good strategy war game, but it lacks an unified design core.

Well the icons are not really understandable. But I could tolerate this.

But then they made the error I can not tolerate. THE TUTORIAL IS BROKEN.  That is a no-go. Well, if a game says at the beginning the tutorial takes 30 minutes, that is also not very clever, but well, honest. BUT ITS BROKEN. That is an absolute no-go.

2011 : Red Faction Armageddon

As I wrote in this "blog" a "long time" ago, I enjoyed Red Faction: Guerilla. It had serious destruction, for 2009 a relative acceptable open world, a cliche-using but well transported storyline and it was fun to play for more than a few hours. I did not finish it, but I would in another life, for sure ! It was well made in every case.

So now I will have a fast look at Red Faction Armageddon, just for the sake of it. What happened between 2009 and 2011 ? Let me have a look, then.

The Neko Humble Bundle - What is a "Neko", Mother ?

If you child has the same question than I have right now, may I call you mother/father ?

Joke.


No. Yes. I have seriously no clue what Neko is. But I am pretty sure it is a Japanese or
Chinese or Vietnamese or so software company. And as I like it, I bought it without having
a clue about it.

Update : Well. As I know now, it is French. Yes. French. LOL. And it was only for console. Then they ported all of their titles here. And for some strange reason most of the startup dialogs look *exactly* like the Unity3D dialog.

So let me jump right into it. Right now you have 2 days something left to also jump into it for
6 dollars I think.

1.Crouching Pony Hidden Dragon
2.GAUGE
3.The Mysterious Cities of Gold
4.Wooden Sen'SeY
5.Storm
6.Puddle
7.Poöf

Press "Read more" to see the reviews and the *tamdadadadamm* conclusion...

Ladies Night. What ? No. Ladies Games ? No. Games with femal heroes ! Now I got it.

Humble Bundle has thrown out a bundle with only female heroes. Heroines ? Who cares. (how it is written)

It's called "Leading Ladies". In consideration to the whole cold-computer-games-women-war  I have to smile a bit by this title, but hey.

I like female computer game heroes. OK. I admit. In 99.9% of the case when I had the choice I took a male. Yes. Sad. Somehow. But to my defence, I always had one or two female characters in my RPG parties. Btw. Why didn't were tampons part of RPG games ? (cotton tampons +4)

Ok. Let me have a look at these games.

1. Lilly Looking Through
2. Valdis Story: Abyssal City
3. Ms. Splosion Man
4.The Yawhg
5. Long Live The Queen
6. The Cat Lady
7.Defender's Quest: Valley of the Forgotten 

And of course as always at the end : the conclusion.

Press "Read more" for the Runs...

Awesome. Awesomenauts. Some Nauts ?

Awesomenauts ? Don't blame me ! Blame the way we get bombarded with sales here and there. This one lurked in my Steam library and I saw it featured on one of my fav. indie platformer websites. So. Well. Let me install another version of Windows C++ Runnable and let me peal the skin off this game.

Pixel Piracy

Yes, since I had exactly 5,02 euro in my steam wallet and since I really am a big fan of Terraria, I thought yeah, let me buy Pixel Piracy. It's from the same team that did Terraria.

You play a pirate captain, and that's about all I know. And you micro manage your pirate crew. And fight other pirates. So well, so aha. I go blindly into it. It "looked" cool.

Humble Flash Bundle: Shmups!

Humble Flash Bundle: Shmups!

Five pixel orientated shoot em ups. I am not a big fan. Then again I played Xennon 2 like crazy.

So. Hurry if you want the same Humble Flash Bundle...well thats over...but you can read the tests here.

1. Really Big Sky
2.  Aqua Kitty: Milk Mine Defender
3. Syder Arcade

To be done :

4.Danmaku Unlimited 2
5.Crimzon Clover: World Ignition 

TNTT : Tonight's time travel : Medieval II : Total War

Well. Just a quick look at some of the past hits laying around on my magnetic disc holder.

I mean, yes, Total War : Rome, the original Nr.1,  can not be beaten. Never. They tried.

But I heard this one should be ok. And I like Medieval. So let me fire it up, Knights of the round table.

After three runs I come to my conclusion. Read more...

So cute .... what ? The "So cute" Humble Flash Bundle

Yes. I know. I am a Humble Bundle Slave Bitch. But then again.

The Bundle I got now has the the all-saying name "So Cute" and is a freaking collection of senseless cuteness. They claim. Let us have an open mind look at that cute promise, shall we, my dear ?


1. Girls like Robots
2. Where is my Heart
3. Woodle Tree Adventures
4. Two Tribes
5. Triple Town